Maybe you’re like me?
When I was 5 I struggled in school. On my report card, my scores were low but my teacher said “Nicki is very kind to the other children.” This is the the way it went all the way to my early thirties. Consideration, kindness and caring came before me. No one told me to do this. Now I can see that I took a gift and overused it to where it became a coping mechanism for when I was uncomfortable. Sorta the way funny people use jokes or sarcasm to deflect pain. We do what we know how until we learn something different (Thank you @JudyLiu).
So I learned how to back bend & turn myself into a pretzel – “If you’re good, I’m good” became my mantra. But I really wasn’t good. I was what I perceived to be safe. Safe but not authentic. I wasn’t trying to be deceitful. I didn’t really know I was doing it. I was more perplexed about my unhappiness than anything else. I understand now that I am actually awesome 😆 and that listening to what I need and want is fun and brings more of those things into my life. I’ve got more balance, ease & joy. It’s my job to be CEO of me. Others respond to that & respect it.
Or maybe you are like one of my friends. You are achieving, producing, strong, outspoken constantly proving that you could win. You’re sometimes impatient and and have to work on being “nice” to people. She realizes now that all this running around being the best at everything was to be significant or have worth. She realizes now, she was looking for external validation for these things. She realizes now that she is amazing because of who she is not what she delivers (although that’s amazing too).
So if you’re hiding, back bending or pretzeling….or if you’re on your 20th degree and 100th promotion…..stop. No really stop.
Step 1: Take a breath. You’re good. I’m good. It’s all good.
Step 2: Pick one small step to do something differently. Don’t judge if it’s big or small or good enough
Step 3. Do it. 4. Do it again and again
Step 5. Celebrate the shit out of that small step and the next and the next.
Step 6. Watch your life change.
Thank you for reading! For more of what I got hit me up for resources, coaching, and my new virtual course Sacred Self Love. Namaste people. 🙏
