Having confidence is not a check-the-box, one and done sort of thing is it. It stems from the ongoing act of loving and believing in ourselves. I dare say it’s rooted in compassion for self and others, which most people struggle with at some point in their lives. It’s not about a focus on the external things all going a certain way. Rather, it’s saying I believe in myself regardless of how things go. If it doesn’t work, I’ll learn. If it works, I’ll celebrate.
Let me be clear. Confidence is not arrogance or an inflated ego. It doesn’t steamroll people or seek win while others lose. An over-identification of ego is actually based in fear, insecurity and lack. Confidence is real love….self love. It’s your relationship with yourself which is based on trust.
However, exuding confidence doesn’t mean you actually feel. It means you’re committed to that way of being, whether you are experiencing it or not. When we’re struggling with confidence, it’s a GREAT practice to ask ourselves: If I was feeling confident what would I say or do? Then say and do that. This practice will lead you to the experience of confidence.
Here’s a fun thought for you: There’s something magnetic about a person who has that inner light turned on. Ironically the person isn’t likely shooting for confidence, but something far beyond it. Be it joy, fun, connection, peace or presence. Isn’t it interesting that someone could be focused on those things yet the experience they have is one of being confident and exuding confidence? Perhaps confidence is a byproduct of the experience (and ongoing pursuit) of joy and peace. Why not experiment and find out?
